That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.